Frequently Asked Questions About How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

The COVID-19 pandemic was all kinds of awful – there’s no doubt about that – but it also made a lot of people realize new things about themselves.

In my case, for instance, I realized that I had many unexplored talents that I would not have found out if I was out of the house all the time. I learned how to bake, cook, and even knit sweaters during the pandemic. I also became closer than ever to my parents, which I thought was impossible because we rarely saw eye to eye in the past.

In my boss’s case, we heard that he realized that all he needed to feel complete was his wife and new baby. Don’t get me wrong – he’s known to be a great husband and father, but he was also a workaholic. Although he was entitled to a paternity leave after his son’s birth, he still went to work every day. But due to the pandemic, he did not have much work to do, and he finally got to spend time with his family.

Unfortunately, not everyone had at least one positive experience during this pandemic. One of my long-time friends, Julia, lost her job at a local broadcasting network because they could no longer pay for new reporters. She eventually found another one as an online writer, but the pay was only a third of her previous salary. It was not enough for her rent, so she had to move back to her parents’ house.  

Before the move, Julia told me how relieved she left to live with her parents again. She had not been there longer than a week since college, and it would be nice to catch up with her other relatives in the neighborhood. However, when I called Julia to ask how she’s settling in after 30 days, she sounded despondent.

“It has been a crappy stay so far. My parents were great; I have nothing bad to say to them. But as for my aunts and grandma, I can think of many,” Julia said.

Curious, I asked, “How come? I thought you are everyone’s favorite.”

She sighed. “Yes. That was when I was still a reporter. Now, they keep comparing me to my other cousins, who did not lose their jobs during the pandemic. They would say, “Oh, look at Mari; she’s earning well since she’s a doctor. You should have studied to become one, too.” I mean, can’t I get a break? I am a failure – I get it.” 

“Hey, you should not say that. You are not a failure.” I tried to appease Julia.

“Come on; admit it. If I’m not, I should have a stable job even now. The broadcasting station let me go because I was expendable.”

Our conversation ended with me unable to stop my friend from being angry and feeling sorry for herself. In truth, I did not know how to do that or what to say that would not upset Julia further. I initially thought of inviting her to stay in my house, but it would only be a quick fix, not a long-term solution. Thus, I quizzed my husband – who is also a psychologist – about the following things:

What does it mean to feel sorry for yourself? 

Feeling sorry for yourself entails that you find yourself pitiful in a specific situation.

Is it wrong to feel sorry about yourself? 

No, it is not wrong to feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes, this feeling pushes you to make a much-needed change in your life.

What’s another word for self-pity? 

Victim-playing is another word for self-pity.

How do you deal with self-pity? 

  • Practice self-compassion and go through the emotions that accompany self-pity. That is more ideal than forcing yourself to act happy.
  • Recognize it when you are self-pitying. Doing so allows you to realize how it affects the people around you.
  • Avoid welcoming the victim mentality. Considering you have not been abused or violated somehow, blaming others for how you feel will not make the problems go away.
  • Rephrase the questions in your head. Practically speaking, instead of asking why, change it into what, where, when, and how.
  • Accept that your perception is your own and that it may not always be correct. This way, you can push yourself to see the situation in another light.
  • Be brave enough to admit that you are self-pitying and that it is not always good. 
  • Instead of focusing on your negative thoughts, try to look at all the blessings you have experienced.
  • Contribute to society to avoid thinking sad thoughts about yourself.

Why do I have so much self-pity? 

You tend to experience so much self-pity because you are not making progress in life, which fuels negative thinking.

What does it mean to wallow in self-pity? 

Wallowing in self-pity entails that you bask in your sadness.

What is the opposite of self-pity? 

Self-esteem is the opposite of self-pity.

What does to wallow mean? 

The term “to wallow” is an intransitive verb that means finding delight in something.

What does it mean to wallow in sorrow? 

“To wallow in sorrow” means that you enjoy feeling sorrowful.

How do I stop wallowing? 

  • Face your problems at once.
  • Try to catch yourself wallowing.
  • Challenge your thoughts.
  • Prove your negative thoughts wrong.
  • Focus on brain-stimulating or positive activities.
  • Be more grateful for your blessings.
  • Give back to others.
  • Stop complaining about what you do not or cannot have.
  • Stay optimistic about life, no matter how challenging it may seem.

Final Thoughts

The best thing I could think of to help my friend was to drag her to my charitable activities. For instance, I would call and ask her to come over and pack the lunches I prepared for the local hospital’s healthcare workers. Sometimes, we would drop by an orphanage to bring new clothes or toys for the kids. Those were little activities that took no more than eight hours, but after the fifth charitable act, Julia told me how guilty she felt for wallowing for being compared to others. 

“These people are genuinely happy about simple things. I need to be more like them. Perhaps that would change my life for the better.”

Frequently Asked Questions About Geriatric Depression Scale

Understanding depression is not a thing I intend to put effort into. I don’t like the idea that I struggle with a mental health condition, but I don’t like to know more about it. I don’t like the thought of knowing a lot about it as it will only make me feel worried and fearful about my current situation. That is because, as of now, aside from being depressed, I am also emotionally unstable. Thus, learning more about my condition will only make my life miserable as I know the truth can somehow put me in a lot of emotional and mental agony.

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But honestly, I am not closing doors in learning. Perhaps my decision to disregard important information only comes from disbelief that I have to suffer from this God-knows-how-long mental health issue. Also, it is not that I don’t want to listen or seek professional advice; I do not feel the need at the moment. I may sound too cocky, but I perfectly understand how things are despite my emotional and mental instability.

But for some reference of the symptoms I am dealing with, I rely more upon my sources to GDS or Geriatric Depression Scale. If you don’t know what it is, here are the answered frequently asked questions about it.

What does the Geriatric Depression Scale measure?

GDS or the Geriatric Depression Scale is a screening tool that measures symptoms of depression, mostly in older adults. Participants of GDS respond in a Yes or No format to a 30-item instrument. But it is essential to realize that GDS does not guarantee a hundred percent assessment, nor should it provide concrete medical diagnoses. It only serves as an effective tool to screen or determine moderate to severe depression that will require a referral to a mental health specialist or psychologist.

 What is the Geriatric Depression Scale Short Form?

The GDS or Geriatric Depression Scale’s short-form holds a 15-question screening mechanism suitable for measuring depression symptoms in older adults. Usually, the process takes a few minutes, five to almost seven. It gets administered by a professional health care provider with minimal training in its use, provided to be filled out by the patient.

 Is the Geriatric Depression Scale (GDS) a reliable screening tool?

The research demonstrated that the GDS-30 is strongly a reliable screening tool that follows a ‘gold standard’ in determining moderate to severe depressive symptoms. It is fast and more convenient to administer and score. But of course, it requires a referral to a licensed mental health expert or a psychologist by the physical therapist or clinician.

 When using the Geriatric Depression Scale Short Form, which does a score of 1 to 5 indicates?

When a patient scores less than 5 points, it means he or she is suggestive of depression and should warrant a comprehensive follow-up assessment. A score that is less than equal to 10 points is often almost symptomatic of depression.

 Who created the Geriatric Depression Scale?

The Geriatric Depression Scale (GDS) is a 30-item self-report instrument that measures depression symptoms in older adults. It processes through the use of a “Yes/No” format, answered by the patient experiencing a mental health problem. It is a screening test originally produced in 1982 by J.A. Yesavage and his collaborators.

 How do you score the Zung depression scale?

Each item of the Zung depression scale is scored on a Likert scale that ranges from 1 to 4. A total score is concluded by adding the individual item scores, ranging from 20 to 80 from the questionnaire. From there, people with a score between 50 and 69 indicate having mild depression, while a score of 70 and above designates severe depression.

 How do you score the Zung Self Rating Anxiety Scale?

The Zung Self-Rating that a potential range score scales anxiety. The normal range is 20-44, mild to moderate anxiety levels are at 45-59, the severe anxiety levels rest at 60-74, and extreme anxiety levels go with a score of 75 and above.

 How do you score the Beck Anxiety Inventory?

To score Beck Anxiety Inventory, each item’s values should get a sum of yielding a total score for all 21 symptoms. These should range between 0 and 63 points. From there, a total score of 0 – 7 can be interpreted as the least level of anxiety, while the 8 – 15 holds a mild implication. The 16 – 25 designates to a moderate state, and the 26 – 63 scores represent a severe mental health state.

 Who can use the Beck Depression Inventory?

The current version of the BDI-II is designed for people aged 13 and over. Typically, the Beck Depression Inventory is composed of items relating to symptoms of depression, including irritability, hopelessness, anger, and loneliness. It also scales cognitions such as guilt or overwhelming feelings. It also scales physical symptoms such as fatigue, weight loss, and lack of interest in physical activities.

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 Is there an anxiety scale?

Yes. In fact, the Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale or HAM-A is one of the first rating scales that is widely used today in both clinical and research settings, developed to measure the severity of anxiety symptoms. It is STAI that briefly administer and does not require an expensive cost to measure general anxiety.

 What is the highest level of anxiety?

Usually, the level of distress and impairment typically classify Anxiety levels. It gets experienced into common categories such as mild, moderate, and severe. However, aside from severe cases, there is still the highest form: the panic level of anxiety. Panic attacks are intense, often uncontrollable, and overwhelming feelings of anxiety combined with a range of physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, choking sensation, hyperventilation, shivering, hot flashes or chills, headache, and fatigue.

 What happens if anxiety is left untreated?

Untreated anxiety often leads to a lot of complications in the physical, emotional, and mental aspects. In some cases, it even causes other mental disorders, such as substance abuse or depression. Individuals with untreated anxiety often tend to have a higher risk of self-isolation, suicide, or self-harm behaviors.

 Can you get rid of anxiety forever?

Unfortunately, there is no chance you can stop or get rid of anxiety forever. That is because it doesn’t vanish since it is more like any other feeling you have, such as frustration, anger, sadness, happiness, love, and so on. It is an emotion that you cannot eliminate from your brain because it serves a purpose in your life.

 At what age does anxiety peak?

It is vital to realize that each person’s anxiety levels are different. Thus, their experience and coping strategies differ, as well. However, the mental health condition usually peaks in adults whose ages are 30 to 44. That is approximately 23% of people in the particular age group. Perhaps that is because of …