When loveless folks watch a drama where the spouse gets caught while cheating on their better half, some assume that the latter is exaggerating when she says something along the lines of “I would’ve preferred it if you just hurt me physically.”
Although any form of violence isn’t acceptable, statements similar to that make sense even in the real world. Welts, bruises, and other physical injuries may heal and not leave marks, but the pain that comes with being on the receiving end of infidelity may not disappear quickly, especially if the victim remembers the incident over and over.
A lifesaver during such a fiasco is couples counseling. To find out if it’ll work for you, below are the things that a counselor may ask you both to do.
- Realize The Problem
Often, cheaters won’t readily accept the accuse, thinking that what they did wasn’t technically cheating. In other cases, the supposedly betrayed spouse only has suspicion and hearsay on their side.
When this situation takes place, the therapist has to dig deeper into your thoughts to know if you and your spouse have the same idea about infidelity. The former can then share what honestly constitutes cheating so that both parties are on the same page.
The marriage therapy is already 50% successful once you get to admit that an extramarital affair did occur.
- Identify And Resolve Existing Issues
The couples counselor will also encourage you to talk about your problems with each other in a neutral setting. Partners who have a rocky relationship or individual careers to expand, to be specific, don’t always have the opportunity to do that. If they aren’t fighting, they’re just not conversing.
At least, in the presence of a therapist, you can finally bring all your issues with your significant other to the table, and vice versa. You may take turns as well in clearing those topics so that it’ll be easier to fix the marriage or split into good terms.
- Assess The Relationship Status
A common reason that cheaters give is that they have fallen out of love or that the spouse has no time for them. While that is more of an alibi than a valid excuse, it merely shows that your coupling needs a severe-evaluation.
Can you still see yourself living and being happy with your better half after five years or so? Can you trust him or her again and bury the proverbial hatchet between you two? Give such questions some thought now.
If the answer is ‘yes’ to either or both, and your spouse feels the same, you can still save your marriage. But in case trust and love are no longer there, then it may be better to end your relationship.
Whether you decide to get a divorce or continue your relationship after the counseling is up to you. What’s important is that you’ll be able to get rid of your emotional burdens and the what-ifs in your head. That is the kind of privilege that you deserve to have after the fiasco, after all.