This is another common thing that married couples endure and it’s not only women that encounter these problems – men encounter them too. Dealing with nasty and controlling in-laws can be extremely difficult and some partners might even see divorce as a solution to the problem.
No marriage should have to come to end due to controlling in-laws, which is why I have put together some tips to help you deal with your in-laws:
Forget the Past and Move Forward
Forgive and forget. Some might feel that it’s not as easy and as simple as that, but try and work towards forgiving your in-laws and forgetting about what happened in the past. It is pointless living with resentment for people who are probably going to be around for a very long time. Work on your feelings and talk to them about it.
Set Boundaries with Your in-Laws
Speak to your partner and try to set boundaries for them. After all, this is your life and your marriage. Make it clear to them as well. Be respectful when doing this and assertive at the same time. If they are controlling and want to control every single decision of yours and your partner’s life, sit them down and speak to them with respect and explain to them that their decisions are not theirs to make. You should never keep quiet and do something that you are unhappy with. After all, this is your marriage, you and your partner have the luxury of designing your life together.
Handling Judgmental in-Laws
I know this can be quite annoying and can make anyone lose their temper but think of it this way. No matter what, people will always judge you. Whether you do the right thing or the wrong thing, some people will look for a reason to bring you down. It is your choice as to whether you want to let it upset you and ruin your life. Live your life and don’t give any thought about what your in-laws think about you.
Limit Your Time with Your in-Laws, If You Really Can’t Bear Them
If you really don’t get along very well with your in-laws, limit your time with them. However, don’t force your partner to cut off their ties with their family. After all, your in-laws are your partner’s flesh and blood. If this works out for you and your partner, when he or she spends time with their family, you can spend time with your family or friends.
When Your Partner Spends All Their Time with Them
If you find that your partner has been neglecting your marriage and spending more time with their family, you need to speak up. Don’t fight with your partner. Approach them in a friendly and respectable manner and talk about how you’re feeling.
Try and Kill Them with Kindness
Yes, you heard me correctly. This might be the oldest trick in the book and it has worked in many cases. When you’re kind to them, they have no reason to pick on you and it makes them seem as though they have been wrong all this time. By being kind towards them, your partner would also appreciate it and will most likely take your side in the future if things turn ugly.
It’s essential for the sake of your marriage to try and get along with each other’s families and find a solution. Never let in-laws break your marriage and never let them walk all over you. As Dr. Phil says, “When a woman has an issue with her in-laws, the husband needs to fix it and when a man has an issue with his in-laws, then she needs to step up and fix it.’’